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Local NewsGovernor Granholm reacts to unemployment report The governor, in a special speech to the state last Tuesday morning said that Michigan residents now have something to be proud of.
Saline DPW Leaf Disposal Plan Gets O.K.
Mayor Declares Martial Law!
Saline Mayor Gretchen Driskell declared martial law earlier this week during an argument filled emergency City Council meeting after it was revealed that a rogue gang of Raccoons has incited a gang war with the "South Side Squirrels", which are affiliated with the "Blood-Squirrels" , a national gang of criminal Squirrels. Police Chief Toby Diflenrod explains that under martial law, all Saline residents with odd house numbers are allowed outside between the hours of 1 am and 6 am and residents with even house number are to remain inside at all times until the emergency is over. Local Woman Grows Beer Tree
Local resident Ramona Smith was sitting on her deck late one afternoon when in her words "I was waxed and a Acorn fell into a half full beer can. A week later, there was a tree growing from it!" Smith now grows her own beer. Local Biologist Alfred Petiole told SETV that "This is the most preposterous thing I've ever heard." Smith plans to sue Petiole and the Saline Biological Park and is negotiating with Dan's Downtown Tavern for the sale of the tree.
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"We
can all now be proud of our state because we are finally first in the
nation". she continued, "With hard work and determination we can
continue to be number one in unemployment". When it was pointed out
that people have to be not working to be unemployed she stated testily
that residents had better watch it or "I'll have every damn road in
Michigan reduced to one lane. We're number one in orange barrels
too!"
